CERITA BUKU MERAH

Aku bukan doktor dan sebagai bukan doktor, aku perlulah rajin membaca sepertimana seorang doktor belajar-bezanya aku belajar asas sahaja. Hakikatnya, aku tahu aku tak pandai seperti doktor.

Doktor yang tamat belajar pun diwajibkan menjalani latihan di hospital sebagai praktikal apa yang dipelajari semasa dalam kuliah dan kesimpulannya, kita semua kenalah membenarkan diri kita untuk belajar untuk keperluan kita dan orang yang memerlukan. 

Ingat belajar cucuk jarum di Youtube dengan cucuk lengan orang hidup depan kita sama ke.

Ok, aku nak cerita berkenaan pasangan yang halal membuat persedian menyambut kelahiran cahaya mata. Pertama sekali semasa awal mengandung, si ibu perlu membuka buku merah ni untuk rekod khusus segala pemeriksaan ibu dan anaknya. 

Walaupun tiada kaitan si bapa, tapi rekod si bapa juga ditulis di depan buku merah ni untuk hal-hal kecemasan. Biasanya usia mengandung bulan kedua dah kena ada buku ini, dan bermulanya buku merah ini sebagai peneman sepanjang masa sehingga tarikh jangkaannya bersalin.

Sesetengah kawasan mewajibkan membawa bil utiliti sebagai rujukan alamat serta sijil nikah. (Ni bergantung juga jika statistik kawasan berkenaan banyak kes anak luar nikah)  sebab prosedur dan implikasi bagi kes anak tidak berbapa berbeza sedikit. 

Yang tak berbeza hanyalah si ibu memang akan membawa kandungannya hingga saat kelahiran jika tiada komplikasi semasa mengandung.

Buku Merah menjadi keperluan wajib sekiranya si ibu mengandung anak pertama. Tak kisahlah klinik desa ke, klinik swasta ke, klinik kesihatan ke, hospital ke dll.

Sebelum ini, hanya si ibu yang akan jalani ujian jangkitan seks dan HIV, tetapi apa yang aku dengar di Putrajaya, setiap kali membuka buku merah, si bapa akan diwajibkan membuat ujian HIV juga. 

Mungkin ini sebagai persediaan atau kes-kes membendung implikasi HIV di sesuatu kawasan sekiranya statistik setempat menunjukkan peningkatan HIV. Sama seperti kes di atas - keperluannya juga bergantung pada statistik setempat.

Dalam buku ni lah segala ujian darah, ujian bayi  dan perkembangan bayi dikepilkan bersama, dan jika mengandung kali kedua pun, buku merah anak pertama yang lama pun akan dirujuk pegawai perubatan/jururawat sebagai indikator kesihatan keseluruhan ibu dan anak.

OK ni kisah lain :

"Salam sy nak bertanya. Adakah aktiviti dilancap dgn tukang urut di SPA boleh dijangkiti? Sy x ada simptom2 dijangkiti tp rs risau sgt. Pd minggu k 2,3,4 sy buat ujian hiv test kit d farmasi keputusan negative, pd minggu k 6 buat d bp lab keputusan negative, minggu k 8,10 buat lg ujian di farmasi keputusan negative. Minggu k 11 buat d pt foundation keputusan negative. Smua ujian kaedah ab/ag. Doktor di pt foundation kata memang dah tepat keputusan sy. Kerana tarikh period y pt foundation gunakan 1 bulan. Perlukan sy lakukan ujian bg genap 90 hari? Persoalan sy. 1. Aktiviti sy lakukan boleh dujangkiti k x? 2. Perlukan sy jalani ujian lg wlupn doktor kata dah tepat? "  

Dalam entri terdahulu aku, aku hanya ikut sepertimana KKM dan WHO gunapakai, ujian 3 bulan selepas aktiviti berisiko terakhir boleh dianggap conclusive. Sebab antibodi dan daya tahan manusia telah dikaji berbeza dan simptom hanya jelas (hadir antibodi imun terhadap HIV) cukup untuk diuji.

Hanya peratusan kecil hasilkan antibodi seawal 2-3 minggu. Jadi lebih muktamat dan tak mahu berteka-teki, buat ujian pada bulan maksimum- bulan ke 3 (12 minggu).

In general, antibody tests that use blood can detect HIV slightly sooner after infection than tests done with oral fluid. It can take 3 to 12 weeks (21-84 days) for an HIV-positive person's body to make enough antibodies for an antibody test to detect HIV infection. This is called the window period

Apa yang menyukarkan, mereka yang telah dijangkiti HIV tidak mahu terima kenyataan. Dan apabila tidak terima kenyataan, sukar untuk menjalani rawatan dari doktor bertauliah. Percaya kepada Doktor palsu di Ampang la, di Perak la yang boleh merawat HIV dll.

Kenyataannya, sehingga hari ini di mana-mana dunia, samada kaya bilionair atau yang miskin pun belum jumpa penyembuhan HIV sepenuhnya. Jadi jangan teruskan kesilapan pertama dengan kesilapan kedua mempercayai doktor-doktor palsu atau doktor facebook yang tidak sahih sumbernya. Lebih elok jika tak tahu, rujuk kepada yang tahu.

Jauhi seks bebas.

Salam Jumaat

YOU HAVE TO JUMP!

SIJIL SIMPANAN PREMIUM BANK SIMPANAN NASIONAL

Sijil Simpanan Premium aku copy dari sumber Internet.

Semalam, nak dijadikan cerita, aku adalah dalam 3 keping SSP (Sijil Simpanan Premium) yang paling rendah aku beli pada Tahun 2004 dan paling terakhir pada 2013.

Dijumlahkan adalah dalam RM1,210.00 kesemua nilai sijil ini.

Ke Bank Simpanan Nasional Cawangan Putrajaya di buka pada jam 0900. Alhamdullilah, tepat jam 0900 jam smartphone aku, maka dibukalah pintunya.

Kalau korang baca SSP ni ada perkongsian Al-Mudharabah antara PELANGGAN DAN BANK (2:98) - ni adalah nisbah pengkongsian untung paling minima.

Ok berapa aku dapat keuntungan?

Nilainya RM0.00.. Apabila tanya kerani, dia cakap kalau dapat RM1.00 dan ke bawah pun memang pelanggan tidak dapat apa-apa. 

Hmmm dah pinjam duit pelanggan bertahun-tahun, langsung tiada imbuhan sebatang pen kan...Ok fine.

SSP ni sesuai kalau korang ada lebihan RM3,000.00 dan beli sijil SSP untuk berpeluang cabutan bertuah yang lebih besar kot dan jangan andaikan dapat dividen atau al-mudharabah tu.

Satu lagi perkhidmatan BSN yang aku sangsi adalah kad kredit Aiman dia walaupun ditawarkan faedah 11% setahun.

Kesukaran untuk mendapatkan penyata dialamatkan ke rumah, di tukar kepada pdf melalui email pun lambat juga. Akhirnya tukar balik kepada penyata surat-menyurat semula.

Lepas tu point hilang 2 bulan, kad kredit salah eja nama, apabila dibuat aduan, pertama kali dalam sejarah aku kena tegur, sebab ini permintaan pelanggan betulkan nama, maka kad ini tidak akan dipos secara poslaju, akan guna pos biasa sahaja dalam 10-20 hari sampai. 

Dah dekat 2 bulan pun tak sampai-sampai.

Satu lagi, kalau sesiapa pernah buat personal loan BSN ni, walau dah bayar setengah jalan, contoh loan 7 tahun, dah bayar 5 tahun dan nak bayar penuh, percayalah dari jelaskan baki loan anda sepenuhnya, lebih baik anda teruskan habis sampai 7 tahun tu sebab ternyata terlalu rugi.

Dan akhir sekali ketika musim perayaan atau cuti biasa, perkhidmatan ATM BSN kerap tiada perkhidmatan. Ok Bye

HIS WIFE LEFT HIM WITH 5 CHILDREN AFTER SHE SUDDENLY DIED – WHEN HE FOUND HER MEDICINE BOX EVERYTHING BECAME CLEAR

Before we start with this article, you should know that this is really shocking and heartbreaking story. This is how the story goes – Joey and Kessy met at work in 2004 and fell in love. So, after 2 years, they got engaged and couldn’t wait to start their own family. 

Everything was going great, and in 2015 she got pregnant with triplets. And now, they would have 5 kids, all younger then the age of 7. The older daughters could not wait for the new family members.

But, unfortunately, during her pregnancy, the doctors discovered a blood clot in her lungs. So, what happened next? 

Well, after giving birth to 2 boys and one girl, she felt much better. But, this is not how the story ends. Unfortunately, when Kessy was discharged from the hospital, she woke up with a sharp pain in her chest. Shortly after that she passed away.

According to the experts, blood clots commonly appear during pregnancy as the body prepares itself not to lose too much blood during the delivery. 

And, this is the main reason why all doctors do not recommend taking too many pills during pregnancy, because the blood flow is the legs is much weaker and reduced, and the blood vessels near the pelvis become tighter, the uterus expands, and this pressures the pelvis. Ladies, this means that you should be very careful and always talk with your doctor before trying any medications or home remedies. 

Thank you for your time and don’t forget to share this article with your friends and family. Thank you and have a good one.

Sumber

AUCTION WINNER GIVES UP HOUSE

Ada beberapa perkara yang mampu kita pelajari dari kisah ini :

1- Rezeki manusia untung dan ruginya adalah di luar jangkaun pemikiran dan kemampuan kita.

2- Urusniaga dengan bank atau peminjam perlulah diambil berat. Banyak kes peminjam bank tidak tahu status susulan walaupun beranggapan telah mencapai rundingan yang baik bersama.

3- Pengurusan pendapatan dan perbelanjaan amat dititikberatkan dalam membina keluarga.

4- Umur 40 Tahun ke atas, kebiasaanya kurang sesuai tiada pekerjaan tetap/bersara awal dan dalam masa yang sama masih ada tanggungan pinjaman jumlah bulanan yang besar serta tanggungan keluarga lebih-lebih lagi anak-anak dalam peringkat umur membesar.
5- Ikhtiar dan berusaha jika mampu dan terdaya, tetapi redha atas ujian dan kembali pada fitrah kehidupan jika gagal. Menerima hakikat adalah lebih mudah untuk meneruskan kehidupan semula dengan lebih baik. 

Auction Winner Gives Up House

PETALING JAYA: When Lee Hui Sen attended an auction of houses that had been recalled by banks, he liked a double-storey house and bid RM445,000 for it. He paid a 10% deposit to the High Court for the double-storey house.

He then went to check out the house. When he saw a family still living there, he could not bring himself to take the house from them.

The Good Samaritan decided to forgo the RM44,500 deposit and hand the house back to the family.

Lee’s lawyer had already sent the letter of vacant possession and a letter asking the earlier owner S, 47, and his wife Nor, 42, to remove the caveat from the house.

S was declared a bankrupt in 2014 after defaulting on his mortgage loan.

In a handwritten letter to S, Lee wrote that he had decided not to continue with the purchase even though he had paid the 10% down-payment.

“I am Lee Hui Sen, the buyer of the auctioned house that you are living in now. I am sorry for buying your house and it might have made you and your family worried.

“The other day, my family and I went to your house and we saw shirts outside the house. We do not have the heart to evict you.

“We will lose the money but it will go into the bank account of your house. We hope this can be of some assistance to you,” Lee wrote.

He also advised S to go to the bank to restructure his loan to avoid having the house put up for auction again.

Lee also provided some feng shui tips, telling S to remove old plants and flowers at the side of the house to make the house brighter and to welcome positive energy.

“Good luck to you and your family,” Lee wrote.

Nor said she found it hard to believe when she found it in the letterbox.

She showed Muslim Consumers Association of Malaysia (PPIM) chief Datuk Nadzim Johan the letter, who helped to verify with the bank’s lawyers that the letter was genuine.

“This is really unbelievable and a miracle to get a chance to rebuild our lives again,” she said, adding that they received the letter in July.

Nadzim said this was a very good example of a man with a golden heart.

“You have not met this person and yet you can just part with your money to help someone. People are fighting for so many things outside and yet this man can provide assistance to a family for them to start anew.

“We urge Lee to come forward so we can offer our appreciation to him,” he said.

Nor said S has been servicing the house loan for almost 20 years but was not prompt in his payment.

The bank allegedly declared S a bankrupt in July 2014 without his knowledge and at the same time, offered him a reschedulement of RM350,000 for 25 years.

S and Nor were former bank officers before they resigned in 2010 and 2011 respectively to focus on their business in the service sector. But they faced financial difficulties after the business floundered.

“I feel the bank really cheated us as they never told us about the bankruptcy and still offered us a reschedulement.

In 2014, we received notice of the first auction. After a meeting with the bank officer, we were told to pay RM40,000 before the auction date. We paid the amount and were arranging with the bank to do a reschedulement.

From there, the matter was prolonged until four auctions,” Nor said, adding that she had written numerous letters to the bank.

Nadzim, to whom the couple had turned for assistance, said he had tried to arrange for a meeting with the bank for the past three months but to no avail.

Rujukan

HUMAN PAPILLOMA VIRUS (HPV)

The HPV – Human Papilloma Virus is mainly transmitted sexually (ETS), and it affect both women and men. The medical experts claim that this virus is responsible for cervical cancer, penis, mouth and anus cancer. Just take a look at the article bellow and learn how to protect yourself from this dangerous virus. 

As we said, in this articlewe are going to mention the most important fact you need to know about the dangerous virus “HPV” Human Papilloma Virus, which attacks both men and women. 

You need to learn how to prevent it, know the symptoms and, what you should do in case you get it. First, you should know that the human papillomavirus (HPV) is actually a group of viruses that can affect the human skin, and there are over 100 different types of this virus. This is explained in the National Cervical Cancer Coalition of the United States – NCCC. In fact, certain types of HPV cause common warts on the hands and feet. Most types of HPV are harmless, do not cause any symptoms, and go away on their own.

About 40 types of HPV are known as genital HPV as they affect the genital area. Up to 80% of females and males will be infected with at least one type of genital HPV at some time.Genital HPV types may be high-risk types that can cause cervical pre-cancer and cancer, or low-risk types that can cause genital warts and usually benign changes in the cervix. HPV is easily spread through direct skin to skin contact. Anyone who has any kind of sexual activity involving genital contact could get genital HPV. That means it’s possible to get the virus without having intercourse. And, because many people who have HPV may not show any signs or symptoms, they can transmit the virus without even knowing it. A person can be infected with more than one type of HPV. The medical experts claim that many people get their first type of HPV infection within their first few years of becoming sexually active.


TEN FACTS ABOUT HPV YOU SHOULD KNOW SO YOU CAN STAY HEALTHY:

1. As we said the HPV is easily spread through direct skin to skin contact,penetration is not necessary. Anyone who has any kind of sexual activity involving genital contact could get genital HPV.
2. Because HPV infection does not usually show any signs or symptoms, you probably won’t know you have it. Most people can therefore get HPV and pass it on without even knowing it. Well, the human body is responsible for fighting this infection with their own immune system. And, because many people who have HPV may not show any signs or symptoms, they can transmit the virus without even knowing it.
3. Well, most of the HPV types won’t harm your health, but, you should know that the so-called “high risk” can change the cell structure of the cervix and become cervical cancer. For women who don’t clear certain “low-risk” types of the virus, benign (abnormal but non-cancerous) changes in the cervix can develop.
4. According to the latest statistics, women who are infected with the virus HPV (high-risk), have high chances of developing cervical cancer in the next 10 – 20 years. This is why all women are advised (and women who are no longer sexually active), that they should continue performing their routine gynecologic exams.
5. For women over 30 years, the National Cervical Cancer Coalition suggests that they should do the Pap smear test. The Pap smear or ‘Pap test’ is a test that can detect abnormal cells in the cervix that may lead to cervical cancer.
6. You should also know that infections in women older than 30 years are less likely to be cured by the body, in natural way. So, they should visit the gynecologist and get a proper treatment.
7. According to the National Library of Medicine of the United States (US National Library of Medicine) the cervical cancer is 100 percent preventable, but only if it’s discovered in early stage.
8. The male condoms help reduce the risk of contact. And the female condoms cover more than the male condoms, however, they just reduce the risk of infection. Neither of these two types of condoms eliminate the risk of infection completely.
9. The HPV type 16 is associated with some types of head and neck cancer.
10. According to the latest statistics, almost 30 % of oral carcinomas are HPV-related.

Rujukan

MASALAH TANTRUMS DI KALANGAN KANAK-KANAK ADALAH BIASA

Hari ini dijangkakan bank-bank penuh dengan pelanggan yang bergegas ingin menukar kad debit baru mereka apabila dikatakan 18 Disember 2016 tarikh akhir. Serta merta banyak mesin ATM jadi offline. Laman sosial sekarang banyak pakar2 pandai walaupun dinafikan oleh beberapa bank berkenaan status Kad Debit

Ni bukan fenomena kad debit yang aku nak cerita, tapi berkenaan perubahan tingkahlaku manusia. Dan skala kecilnya adalah kanak-kanak di bawah 5 tahun. Cerita berkenaan tantrum dikalangan kanak-kanak dan boleh juga berlaku di awalan sekolah rendah.

Tapi kebanyakan di media sosial, ramai merujuk malah memahami bahawa tantrum berlaku pada kanak-kanak berumur 2- 4 tahun. Pendapat ini tidak boleh dijadikan sebagai rujukan. Nak jadi cerita, ramai pula percaya bulat-bulat pendapat sebegitu.

Tantrum adalah biasa di kalangan kanak-kanak cuma ia menjadi luar biasa apabila melibatkan kanak-kanak hyper aktif atau juga autism.

Seharian mengkaji tantrum ni maka aku rasa edisi Bahasa Inggeris ni lebih bertepatan dan bermanfaat untuk dikongsikan seperti :

- Ignore The Kid
- Give Your Child Some Space
- Create  a Diversion
- Discipline Without Spanking
- Find Out What's Really Frustrating Your Kid
- Hugs
- Offer Food Or Suggest a Little R&R
- Talk it Over Afterward
- Try to Heal Off Tantrum-Triggering Situations
- Remember That You're The Adult
- Don't Lose Your Cool
- Give Your Kid Incentive To Behave
- Let Your Child Know You Love Him
- Speak Calmly
- Get Out Of There

Dari segi bahasa di Wikipedia :

"A tantrum, temper tantrum, meltdown or hissy fit is an emotional outburst, usually associated with children or those in emotional distress, that is typically characterized by stubbornness, crying, screaming, defiance, anger ranting, a resistance to attempts at pacification and, in some cases, hitting. Physical control may be lost; the person may be unable to remain still; and even if the "goal" of the person is met, he or she may not be calmed. A tantrum may be expressed in a tirade: a protracted, angry, or violent speech."

When your kid's in the middle of a tantrum, it can be tough to keep yourself from having your own meltdown, too.
"Meltdowns are terrible, nasty things, but they're a fact of childhood," says Ray Levy, PhD, a Dallas-based clinical psychologist and co-author of Try and Make Me! Simple Strategies That Turn Off the Tantrums and Create Cooperation. "Young kids -- namely those between the ages of 1 and 4 -- haven't developed good coping skills yet. 

They tend to just lose it instead." And what, exactly, sets them off to begin with? Every single tantrum, Levy says, results from one simple thing: not getting what they want. "For children between 1 and 2, tantrums often stem from trying to communicate a need -- more milk, a diaper change, that toy over there -- but not having the language skills to do it," says Levy. "They get frustrated when you don't respond to what they're 'saying' and throw a fit." 

For older toddlers, tantrums are more of a power struggle. "By the time kids are 3 or 4, they have grown more autonomous," Levy adds. "They're keenly aware of their needs and desires -- and want to assert them more. If you don't comply? Tantrum city."


So how can you stop these outbursts? 



1: Ignore the Kid


The reason this works is fascinating: "During a tantrum, your child is literally out of his mind. His emotions take over -- overriding the frontal cortex of the brain, the area that makes decisions and judgments," says Jay Hoecker, MD, a Rochester, Minnesota, pediatrician.

"That's why reasoning doesn't help -- the reasoning part of his brain isn't working." Says Alan Kazdin, PhD, author of The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child, "Once you're in a situation where someone's drowning, you can't teach them to swim -- and it's the same with tantrums.

There's nothing to do in the moment that will make things better. In fact, almost anything you try will make it worse. Once he chills out, then you can talk."


2 : Give Your Child Some Space


"Sometimes a kid just needs to get his anger out. So let him!" says Linda Pearson, a nurse practitioner and author of The Discipline Miracle. (Just make sure there's nothing in tantrum's way that could hurt him.)

"I'm a big believer in this approach because it helps children learn how to vent in a nondestructive way. They're able to get their feelings out, pull themselves together, and regain self-control -- without engaging in a yelling match or battle of wills with you." This trick can work on its own or in tandem with the whole ignoring bit.


3 : Create a Diversion


This is all about a deft mental switcheroo -- getting your kid engaged and interested in something else so she forgets about the meltdown she was just having. "My purse is filled with all sorts of distractions, like toys -- ones my kids haven't seen in a while, books, and yummy snacks," says Alisa Fitzgerald, a mom of two from Boxford, Massachusetts.

Whenever a tantrum happens, she busts 'em out, one at a time, until something gets the kids' attention. "I've also found that distraction can help ward off a major meltdown before it happens, if you catch it in time," she adds.

If your kid is about to go off the deep end at the supermarket because you won't buy the super-frosted sugar-bomb cereal, try quickly switching gears and enthusiastically saying something like, "Hey, we need some ice cream. Want to help me pick a flavor?" or "Ooh, check out the lobster tank over there!" Explains Levy: "Children have pretty short attention spans -- which means they're usually easy to divert. And it always helps if you sound really, really psyched when you do it. It gets their mind off the meltdown and on to the next thing that much faster." Fitzgerald agrees: "You have to channel your inner actress and be an entertainer -- one with props!"





4 : Discipline Without Spanking


The next time you feel the urge to spank, take a deep breath instead and consider what you want your child to learn.

5 : Find Out What's Really Frustrating Your Kid


This trick is for tantrums among the under-2-and-a-half set, says Dr. Hoecker. "Children this age usually have a vocabulary of only about 50 words and can't link more than two together at a time. Their communication is limited, yet they have all these thoughts and wishes and needs to be met. When you don't get the message or misunderstand, they freak out to release their frustration." One solution, he says: sign language. Teaching your child how to sign a few key words -- such as more, food, milk, and tired -- can work wonders.

Another approach is to empathize with your kid, which helps take some of the edge off the tantrum, and then play detective. "My 22-month-old throws tantrums that can last up to -- yikes! -- 20 minutes," says Melanie Pelosi, a mom of three from West Windsor, New Jersey. "We've taught her some words in sign language, but if she wants something like a movie, she won't know how to ask for it -- and still freaks out. So I say, 'Show me what you want,' and then I see if she'll point to it. It's not always obvious, but with a little time and practice you begin to communicate better. If she points to her older brother, for example, that usually means that he's snatched something away from her, and I can ask him to give it back. I can't tell you how many awful, drawn-out meltdowns we've avoided this way!"

6 : Hugs


"This may feel like the last thing you want to do when your kid is freaking out, but it really can help her settle down," Levy says. "I'm talking about a big, firm hug, not a supercuddly one. And don't say a word when you do it -- again, you'd just be entering into a futile battle of wills. Hugs make kids feel secure and let them know that you care about them, even if you don't agree with their behavior." Cartwright Holecko, of Neenah, Wisconsin, finds that it helps: "Sometimes I think they just need a safe place to get their emotions out."



7 : Offer Food or Suggest a Little R&R

"Being tired and hungry are the two biggest tantrum triggers," says Levy. Physically, the kid is already on the brink, so it won't take much emotionally to send him over. "Parents often come to me wondering why their child is having daily meltdowns. And it turns out they're happening around the same time each day -- before lunch or naptime and in the early evening. It's no coincidence! My advice: feed them, water them, and let them veg -- whether that means putting them to bed or let


8 : Talk it over afterward.


When the storm subsides, hold your child close and talk about what happened. Using simple language, acknowledge his frustration, and help him put his feelings into words, saying something like, "You were very angry because your food wasn't the way you wanted it," Kopp suggests.

Let him see that once he expresses himself in words, he'll get better results. Say with a smile, "I didn't understand you because you were screaming. Now that you're calm, I can find out what you want." Then give him a hug.




9 : Try to head off tantrum-triggering situations. 


Pay attention to what pushes your child's buttons and plan accordingly.

 Make sure she gets enough rest and carry snacks with you. Temper tantrums are more frequent and intense when kids are tired or hungry.

 Give her a gentle heads up before transitioning from one activity to the next. Letting her know when you're going to leave the playground or sit down to dinner, for example, gives her a chance to adjust instead of react. ("We're going to eat when you and Daddy are done with your story" or "Five more pushes on the swing and we're leaving.")

Offer limited choices. Your child is grappling with independence and new kinds of demands from you, her peers, and her teachers, so let her make choices when possible. No one likes being told what to do all the time. Saying, "Would you like corn or carrots?" rather than "Eat your corn!" gives her a sense of control.

Monitor how often you say no, too. If you find you're rattling it off routinely, you could be putting unnecessary stress on both of you. Ease up and choose your battles. After all, would it really wreck your schedule to spend an extra five minutes at the playground?





10 : Remember that you're the adult. 


No matter how long the tantrum goes on, don't give in to unreasonable demands or negotiate with your screaming child. It's especially tempting in public to cave in as a way of ending the episode.

But conceding only teaches your child that pitching a fit is the way to get what she wants and sets the stage for future behavior problems. What's more, a tantrum is frightening enough for your child without her feeling that you're not in control, either.

If your preschooler's outburst escalates to the point where she's hitting people or pets, throwing things, or screaming nonstop, pick her up and carry her to a safe place, such as her bedroom, where she can't harm herself. Tell her why she's there ("because you hit your sister"), and let her know that you'll stay with her until she calms down. If you're in a public place – a common breeding ground for tantrums – be prepared to leave with your child until she gets a grip.

"My daughter had an absolute fit at a restaurant because the plain spaghetti she ordered arrived with chopped parsley on it," another mother recalls. "Although I realized why she was upset, I wasn't about to let her disrupt everyone's dinner. I took her outside until she calmed down."


11: Don't lose your cool. 

You may be tempted to stomp out of the room, but that can make your child feel abandoned. The storm of emotion he's feeling can be frightening to him, and he needs to know you're nearby. When your child is swept up in a tantrum, he's unable to listen to reason, though he will respond – negatively – to yelling or threatening.

"The more I shouted at Brandon to stop, the wilder he would get," says one mother. What worked instead, she discovered, was to sit down calmly and just be with him while he raged.

Rather than leave your child thrashing on the floor, summon up the strength to avoid yelling and quietly go to him. If he's not flailing too much, pick him up and hold him. Chances are he'll find your embrace comforting and will calm down more quickly. And if he's showing a little bit of anger without getting too out of control, you can always try ignoring him until the storm passes.


12 : Give Your Kid Incentive to Behave

Certain situations are trying for kids. Maybe it's sitting through a long meal at a restaurant. Whatever the hissy hot button, this is the trick: "It's about recognizing when you're asking a lot of your child and offering him a little preemptive bribe," Pearson says. "While you're on your way to the restaurant, for example, tell him, 'Alex, Mommy is asking you to sit and eat your dinner nicely tonight. I really think you can do it!

And if you can behave, then when we get home I'll let you watch a video.'" For the record, Pearson says this kind of bribery is perfectly fine, as long as it's done on your terms and ahead of time -- not under duress in the middle of a tantrum. If your kid starts to lose it at any point, gently remind him about the "treat" you discussed. "It's amazing how this can instantly whip them back into shape," says Pearson.


13 : Let your child know you love him.


Once your child is calm and you've had a chance to talk to him about his tantrum, give him a quick hug and tell him that you love him. It's important to reward good behavior, including your child being able to settle down and talk things over with you.



14 : Speak Calmly

This is a biggie -- and is much easier said than done. But experts insist you must keep your cool during a child's tantrum. "Otherwise, you'll get into a power struggle and make the whole thing escalate. Plus, part of the reason kids resort to tantrums is to get attention," Dr. Hoecker says. 

"They don't care if it's positive or negative attention they're getting. All they care about is that you're giving them 100 percent of it." Levy agrees, and adds: "Talking in a soothing voice shows your child that you're not going to let her behavior get to you. It also helps you stay relaxed -- when what you really want to do is yell right back. In fact, the calm tone is as much for the parent as the child! If you're tense, your kid will pick up on it, and it's going to amp her up even more."

15 :  Get Out Of There

Getting kids away from the scene of the tantrum can snap them out of it. "It's also a great strategy when you're out and about," says Levy. "If your child starts melting down over a toy or candy bar he wants, pick him up and take him either to a different area of the store or outside until he calms down. Changing the venue really can change the behavior."





RUJUKAN



AAP. 2015. Top tips for surviving temper tantrums. American Academy of Pediatrics. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Temper-Tantrums.aspx [Accessed May 2016]

JHM. Undated. Johns Hopkins Medicine. http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/pediatrics/temper_tantrums_90,P02295/ [Accessed May 2016]